An Introvert’s Tips for Loving the Holiday Season

我爱的节日。但是,当它已经结束了,我常常觉得像时代广场照顾的人群凌晨元旦的分散。总之,那种乱七八糟的:振奋,筋疲力尽,并与所有的视觉,听觉,以及节假日的情绪仍然回荡。换句话说,我觉得我需要复位和清理船员。

I thought this feeling was inevitable.

多年来,我所面临的节日,就好像是大学的最后一周,我是一名大学生。我是一个内向的人,并不亚于我爱的人,节假日,我原本以为只是“通过权力”,直到一月。威廉希尔滚球体育投注麻烦的是,我和老公总是出差,看看我们的感恩节,圣诞节的家庭,而且往往新年。我们的家庭生活在相反的方向,在不同的状态,所以我们在过去十年中几乎每一个寒假做多一日游。

每到假期我会收拾行囊,离开我的日常身后,告诉自己:It’s only a few days. Of course we’ll arrive early and stay late. Of course I’ll stay up as late our host even if it’s way past my usual bedtime. Of course I won’t take any time for myself. Of course I’ll snack endlessly on whatever is near my hands. And of course, I’ll stop all forms of exercise.The result was that I’d return home from these holiday visits exhausted, ornery, and people-weary with no clean pants for the next day. It’d take me a week of steady routine—including hours of solitude and a few loads of laundry—to recover.

我的一个“内向节日后遗症”的预期已开始来阻尼我真正爱的一年的时间我的热情。呆在家里是一种选择,但不是一个我们可能选择。我们的确是喜欢我们的家庭和我们与他们花费的时间。(另外,当你没有孩子,像我们这样的,我觉得也很难证明呆在家里过节很容易说:“我希望我的kids体验圣诞节的早晨,在我们自己的房子,”不是,“嗯,I想在自己的房子,体验圣诞节的早晨。”)

我的新方法,在假期带着一个心态的转变,始于2013年那年我读安静由苏珊·凯恩,一本书,这是自成为内向的人的试金石。这是我第一次意识到:1)我是一个内向,2)没事来照顾我的个性的一部分。该隐在我的头和良好的帮助语音治疗师,我开始考虑帮助我是身体,情感和精神健康的行为。

Over the next few years, I made changes to how I lived. (It’s worth noting that during this time, I was also navigating ananxiety disorder diagnosis。学会尊重我的内向是对很多事情,帮助我恢复稳定和健康的。)

在此过程变得清楚的一件事是,当节日到来,我抛弃了我的健康的生活习惯,惯例,和边界。很长一段时间,我觉得这些东西都是自私的威廉希尔滚球体育投注。但经验告诉我他们没有。当我照顾好自己,我有更多的心理和情感能量。我感到亲切,更耐心,更开放。更为现实,能够连接。

为此,我已经拿出的东西,使节日期间的旅游和无尽的外向更容易为我的列表。我知道有很多家伙性格内向的人在那里,但我也认为这些想法可以为任何人,性格内向,外向,或漠不关心会有所帮助:

使房间的精神。

Because I’m a Christian, this is the time of year I celebrate God’s arrival in this world and my hope for the future because of it. Shifting my mind to a deep spiritual truth like this isn’t something I can do in a hurry or with a lot of background noise. It takes time and intention.

Growing up, I didn’t attend a church that observed Advent but I do now. I’ve found that it’s a beautiful and thoughtful way to prepare for Christmas. (If Advent is new to you, Tsh has written a lot about it—including this最近贴文。)

In addition to celebrating Advent at church on Sundays, I also create space for it in my everyday life. I’m an early riser. Every morning, I make coffee, grab a blanket, and head to the same spot on my sofa. Throughout the year I use this time to read, journal, pray, stare out the window.

但是降临时,我转移我的注意力给Advent为主题的读数和做法。去年,我看了a four-part Advent series从圣经项目,一个非盈利性通过我的前牧师的一个开始。每个星期,我会观看短视频,然后花一些时间来编写和反映的主题。

附表孤独。

孤独通常不会发生,除非我们进行调度。我用来治疗孤独,好像它是为是生产性的奖励。我认为:If I complete these things on my to-do list, then I can take some time for myself。Again, it was a therapist who set me straight on this. Solitude isn’t a reward. It’s a human need. One of the big benefits of solitude is that it helps to regulate our emotions—which seems especially important this time of year.

对于如何界定孤独不同的意见。在他的书Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport says that solitude is a time that’s free from all forms on input (including podcasts, audiobooks, and reading). In a recent纽约时报文章的定义是一个更灵活一点。对于我来说,孤独是时候我独自一人,没有花我的电话,做一些下面的事情:去散散步外,绘画,日记,烘烤,阅读。这份名单很可能会找大家有点不同。

Take a break.

In addition to scheduling solitude, I’ve found that it’s important to take short breaks in the midst of social activities or long family weekends. I have a friend who takes naps during family holidays. During the afternoon lull, she heads to a guest room and closes the door. Sometimes she sleeps, and at other times she simply reads for a while. She’s discovered that she’s a happier, more patient person because of these short self-imposed breaks.

她的习惯一直激励着我,现在我给自己的权限做类似的事情。有时候,我会去一个安静的房间,并做短暂冥想我Calm应用,阅读,小睡片刻,不然我会去只有一人散步。

Care for your physical needs.

说这句话的另一种方法是:不要忽视你的健康的生活习惯。这似乎是一个没有脑子,但它是我花几年注意到基本自理,饮用水之间的连接,限制了我的糖的摄入量,活跃,睡眠是否充足,以及如何我觉得精神上和情感。现在,当我旅行的假期(甚至当我没有),我试图记住健康的这些基本的构建模块。我带一个水瓶与我。我把我的跑步,散步,或瑜伽的习惯规则。我去睡觉我平时的时间,因为我知道睡了恢复即可。

给自己的余量。

我不能告诉你我花了多少次的假期s with family and stay as long as humanly possible. Especially when I was single, I’d arrive home late Sunday night, crash, and then wake early for work the next morning. It felt like a challenge, as if I was proving that I was superhuman.

现在我知道保证金的重要性,并尝试计划吧。停机时间旅行和工作周,至少有足够的时间来洗衣服的负载,吃一个普通家庭之间的膳食可以帮助我恢复。

对我来说,底线是这样的:这个节日,就是要喜悦和庆祝的时间。当我照顾好自己在这些方面,我更快乐,并能够更好地与人交流。而不是面对焦虑的赛季,我能够与希望期待去面对它。

照片安东尼昆塔诺//CC

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11 Comments

  1. Adam Blue

    And doing all you mentioned you’ve finally found it, right? The kingdom of heaven within you. Those moments of silence and stillness where you pause while the traffic outside of you continues, but within you – a slice, a serving – of the vastness of eternity and the endlessness of infinity joins you in its silence and stillness too.

    • Andrea Debbink

      精美的说,亚当!

  2. EVI

    This was a very beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I got a lot from it. Wishing you a blessed advent period.

    • Andrea Debbink

      我很高兴听到这个消息,Evi的!谢谢!

  3. Ronda

    这事缘是硬边界,当你在一个家庭尤其是外向的性格内向。但我发现,有旅游和义务之间的那一天让时间走感觉更好花了而不是忙碌的,因为交通,旅游和其他一切的。谢谢你提醒我的,作为我今年再次让我的家庭旅游计划。

    • Andrea Debbink

      You’re welcome, Ronda! I agree that margin can be a difficult boundary (especially when trying to explain it to more extroverted people).

  4. 基娅拉

    这是非常好的。去年的圣诞节,我感觉拖垮和某处我的记忆中想起了如何作为一个孩子,我会永远永远永远带一本书,以家庭聚会,花费了大量的时间阅读悄悄家庭的噪音包围。它真正适合我的内向。谢谢你的提醒,这是我能找到的时间和空间,作为一个成年人的事。

    • Andrea Debbink

      Thank you, Chiara! Bringing a book is a great idea. As you said, I’ve also found that sometimes it’s enough to be alone (with a book or a craft) in the midst of people.

  5. Christine Bailey

    “孤独是不是一种奖励。这是一个人的需要。”这样好了,安德烈。我完全一个内向,但一个社会,所以我有时完全不象一个内向的人出现。我们爱托管和我真正爱的人身边有很多人在节日。但我发现,我总是碰壁,我必须从所有的噪音,声音,动作一步之遥了一个小时左右。即使我托管在我家,就像如果客人在这里停留几天。我曾经感到很难过,但现在我意识到它实际William Hill体育上是一种需要。所以我逃了我的房间了一下,读,点燃一支蜡烛,或者喝一些茶,然后我能够回到一切更接地。

    • Andrea Debbink

      I know what you mean, Christine! I’m a “social Introvert” too Good for you for taking that time to yourself! That sounds like the kind of break I could use too.

  6. 马利克·汗

    Wonderful post, Thank you for sharing this, Keep it up.

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