A Letter To My 2010 Self

I wrote a letter to myself 10 years ago, inspired by Tsh’s“亲爱的我”的信因为简易的最后一年的艺术的一部分。自2010年以来是我成为首次母亲的一年,我的长子女孩即将在几周内把10,它觉得及时。William Hill体育

在写这篇的过程中,我意识到如何感激我,我们得到的礼物先见之明,我们不知道发生了什么事情发生在未来的一天,一年,十年或。因为如果我们这样做,我们可能做什么,我们可以逃避痛苦,挣扎和不适感,从而错过了绝对的最有意义的时刻,真正影响我们的人。


亲爱的我在2010年,

我看到你在那里的客房出身的幼儿园的黄色地毯坐在那里,折叠蝇头新生儿连体衣和布尿布。你准备在几周内你的女婴的到来。我知道你很高兴,......你一段时间,等待这个!你如果你的身体将永远不会一样了,紧张的诞生,还有无数其他的情绪可能不确定。William Hill体育

现在我已经经历了十多年的母亲,有这么多的事情,我想与大家分享,从这个十年的另一边。这里仅仅是几个现在:

Your body is beautiful and strong.

我知道它已经很难看到你的身体变化这么多,听到可笑的评论从其他人一样,“你肯定不会有在那里的双胞胎?”我知道它已经感觉有关不安全感很长的历史“足够小,”现在你是你曾经是最大的。William Hill体育但这里有一个小扰流板......这身体,你的批评,试图收缩几年了?

那么,它会做一个神奇的事情:它会催生一个人。两次。

您即将获得那些William Hill体育永远不会消失的一些伤痕。将会有更多的妊娠纹。会有橘皮组织。但是30年之后,你就会意识到你的尺寸为零,与你是谁,你的身体事情是这样的,你会得到和平。你女儿会说:“妈妈,我爱你的皱纹。他们感觉很好,当我在他们跑我的手指”和‘我爱我的铺设头在你的肚子粘糊糊的。’而且它不会伤害。相反,你会感到自豪。如此骄傲。

All those imperfections are beautiful to your children. Embrace them.

Also, you’re a farmer now. And you won’t believe what that strong body can do.

You’ll love being a mother.

You’re preparing for a natural birth, and you have your plan in place. In a few weeks, when you’re in labor in the body care aisle at Whole Foods, remember what all those people told you:“Create your birth plan, but just be prepared to hold it loosely,”(即使你还挺卷起你的眼睛时,他们说的话)。

It’s actually true. Please don’t freak out when I tell you this: you’re not going to get your natural birth this time around.

你会做你认为你需要勇敢,忍受36小时劳动的无进展远远不够。痛苦会剥夺你和你们洁净,强迫任何unsurfaced恐惧。最后你会说:“我需要帮助NOW”,并认识到这些是实际最勇敢的话,你可以说。

And then, after so many hours of trying, your first child—your first daughter—will be removed from your body8分钟after entering the operating room. You might be shaking from the anesthesia, but try to soak in everything you can in that moment—the robust cry under the fluorescent lights, her arms waving wildly, Asian eyes from her daddy, and big, wide mouth that looks exactly like your daddy’s.

Within the first minute of your daughter’s life, you’ll be filled with a fierceness of love that is different and shocking—more risky, more dangerous, like it could crack you open at any time.

这种感觉不会消失,朋友。这只会扩大和变形,并改变多年来为你的女孩开始爬行,蹒跚学步,跑步,现在几乎10,成为她自己独立的人。而且我们不是连十几岁的年龄呢!

几年后,你会有一个女儿,这s time at home. (Yay! Your natural birth!) You won’t run out of love to go around; your heart will simply grow more. All your cloth-diapering dreams will be flushed down the toilet, and you’ll embrace Seventh Generation disposables like there’s no tomorrow. Perfection isn’t possible.

From where I stand in 2020, your girls are 6 and almost 10, and those tiny baby onesies you’re folding are currently dressing baby dolls. There’s plenty of drama and big emotions and bickering, but even so, they are truly best friends. They love playing together. They’ll love nature and beauty, shooting arrows and drawing princesses, sparkly things, and digging their hands in the dirt.

相信你内心的熊妈妈不毫不犹豫地吼反对任何威胁他们的童年。这意味着什么。而且,时间一到就开始放松缰绳一点。

You’ll learn to embrace change.

还有的将是一个连根拔起。我知道你甚至无法想象这是可能的,但你会离开这个家从现在起5年,有了它,顺着走廊的木地板的孩子脚的回声。

It’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, and you’ll have to walk into change like never before. But you’re moving back to Tennessee—to a farm!

是的,你爱买不买,而本地猪食物的权利,但成为一个农民自己?疯了吧?我就告诉你这个,就会出现失误。这里将是你觉得你分崩离析大的错误的时刻。你会错过步行距离之内的人行道和有朋友。但是你会以新的方式找到你的实力。你会得到你的房子上面的天空这是一个真正的天文馆。一个连接到是显而易见的土地。充足的空间供人们来减缓并连接在农场新鲜的饭菜或篝火。那个女孩在你的肚子,现在有一天会帮你种植野花,并要求你躺在地上,在黄金时间与她的玉米行间。

在你的院子里的城市只有两个树苗的树后,你现在就会有几千条。所有这些加息,并具有广泛的散步,好奇宝宝眼睛偷看过白鲸包装的顶部将通过您的持股5亩的女孩一路领先树林变成探索。

你会拥抱在家自学。在你所拥有的一切教你的女孩,你会发现他们真正需要知道,大部分是不是从课本或工作表。

Your board books will be well-loved and well-worn. Before you know it, you’ll be reading纳尼亚传奇他们在睡前,直到你的声音嘶哑去。你会发现用手电筒和外院子里和里面的最古老的女孩读书覆盖下,基本上任何时候她可以在几句话得到。

And then one evening, sitting by yourself on the doorstep of your farmhouse, a loneliness you can’t pinpoint will rise to the surface. You’ll mourn a little for the years of Daniel Tiger and Curious George and the double stroller and babywearing. You’ll wonder if it’s too late to squeeze out one more baby at age 42 because you don’t want to say goodbye to that stage of life.

Worrying isn’t worth one more second.

All those things you’ve worried about over the last 10 years that kept you up in the middle of the night? 99.9% of them never happened. And those that did? God was faithful. God was with your family, just as promised.

在十年的时间,这里在2020年的另一边,你还在犯错,但向他们学习。您在管理变革和风险更好的是。你仍然爱着神和史蒂芬和你的孩子和你的社区。你是你曾经去过的你-EST。安息吧。别担心。事情真的会好起来的。

Oh, one more thing—keep blogging, sister. Keep using those gifts and words, and somewhere in between the finger puppets, rubber duckies wearing bowties, and the California Baby shampoo, you’ll figure out how to still make time for yourself with a hot bath, your journal, and a glass of wine. Because 10 years later, you’ll be writing an实际的,真正的book, and you’ll be glad you made the choice to keep your creative side alive.

Love,

你在2020年

Reading Time:

minutes

5条评论

  1. Tsh Oxenreider

    我的天哪,这是可爱的,SO写得很好,克里斯蒂娜!我喜欢这样的:“你终于说‘我需要更多帮助’,并认识到这些是实际最勇敢的话,你可以说。”是的女士。

    Reply
    • 克里斯蒂娜·贝利

      谢谢你,朋友!

      Reply
  2. MICHELE HOFFMAN

    Love this so much – all of it, but especially the perspective on birth “plans” going out the window, as I’m weeks away from my second C section for a second breech babe… but realizing 10 years from now (really, 10 weeks from now!) the gift of the new little one is the same regardless of how he arrives! Thank you!

    Reply
    • 克里斯蒂娜·贝利

      Michele, I’m so glad it spoke to you. And yes, however that baby arrives will be a gift. Saying a prayer right now for a lovely birth.

      Reply
  3. 凯尔西·吉布森

    I love this so much. As a mom with four kids six and under and our last baby nearing that one year mark, this was a needed reminder of how short and utterly sweet this season is and how life morphs and changes but, in all the important ways, stays the same. Thank you for sharing so openly. I can’t wait for your BOOK!

    Reply

Submit a Comment

您的电子邮件地址不会被公开。必需的地方已做标记*

Join thousands of readers
与被调用Tsh中的免费的每周电子邮件
五Quick Things,

where she shares stuff she either created herself or loved from others. (It can be read in under a minute, pinky-swear.)

它的一部分Tsh中流行的通讯称为书籍和缝隙,在那里她分享有关的故事和旅行,工作和玩耍,信念和问题,更多的交集的想法。威廉希尔滚球体育投注William Hill体育