写信给我自2010

10年前我写了一封信给我,启发Tsh中的“Dear Me” lettersas part of The Art of Simple’s final year. Since 2010 is the year I became a mother for the first time, and my firstborn girl is about to turn 10 in a few weeks, it felt timely.

In the process of writing this, I realized how grateful I am that wedon’tget the gift of foresight—we don’t know what’s going to happen over the next day, year, or decade. Because if we did, we’d probably do whatever we could to avoid pain, struggle, and discomfort and thereby miss the absolute most meaningful moments, the ones that truly shape us.


亲爱的我在2010年,

I see you there sitting there on the yellow rug of the guest room-turned-nursery, folding teeny newborn onesies and cloth diapers. You’re preparing for your baby girl’s arrival in a few weeks. I know you’re excited—you’ve waited awhile for this! You’re probably uncertain if your body will ever be the same again, nervous about the birth, and a million other emotions.

I’ve now experienced 10 years of motherhood, and there are so many things I want to share with you from the other side of this decade. Here are just a few for now:

你的身体是美丽和强大。

I know it’s been hard to see your body change so much and to hear ridiculous comments from others like, “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?!” I know it’s been a long history of feeling insecure about not being “small enough,” and now you’re the biggest you’ve ever been. But here’s a little spoiler…that body you criticized, tried to shrink for years?

Well, it’s going to do a miraculous thing: it’s going to birth a human. Twice.

You’re about to gain some scars that won’t ever go away. There will be more stretch marks. There will be cellulite. But years from now, you’ll realize your size has zero to do with who you are, and you’ll make peace with your body the way it is. Your daughter will say, “Mama, I love your wrinkles. They feel good when I run my fingers over them,” and “I love laying my head on your squishy tummy.” And it won’t hurt. Instead, you’ll be proud of it. So proud.

所有这些缺陷是美丽的你的孩子。拥抱他们。

另外,你现在是一个农民。你不会相信什么强壮的身体可以做。

你一定会喜欢当母亲。

你准备自然分娩,你有你的到位的计划。在几个星期后,当你在全食的身体护理过道劳动的时候,记住所有的人告诉你:“创建你的生育计划,但只是准备轻轻握住它,”(even though you kinda rolled your eyes when they said it).

这是真的。请不要惊慌,当我告诉你:你不会让周围的自然分娩这段时间。

You’ll do what you think you need to be brave, to endure 36 hours of labor without progressing far enough. The pain will strip you and cleanse you, forcing out any unsurfaced fears. You’ll finally say “I NEED HELP NOW” and realize that those were the actual bravest words you could say.

然后,这么多小时的努力后,你的第一个孩子,你的第一个女儿,会从你的身体删除8 minutes进入手术室后。You might be shaking from the anesthesia, but try to soak in everything you can in that moment—the robust cry under the fluorescent lights, her arms waving wildly, Asian eyes from her daddy, and big, wide mouth that looks exactly like your daddy’s.

在你女儿的生命的第一分钟,你就会充满爱的凶猛是不同的,令人震惊的,风险更大,更危险,像它可以破解你在任何时候打开。

That feeling won’t go away, friend. It’ll just expand and morph and change over the years as your girl starts crawling, toddling, running, and now at almost 10, becoming her own independent person. And we’re not even to the teen years yet!

在短短几年内,你就会有第二个女儿,这个时间在家里。(!耶你自然分娩!)爱去走一走,你会不会跑出来;你的心脏会简单地种植更多。你所有的布换尿布的梦想将被冲入马桶,你会拥抱第七代一次性像没有明天。完美是不可能的。

从我的立场在2020年在那里,你的女孩有6个和近10,你是折叠正在修整娃娃这些微小的婴儿连体衣。有大量的戏剧和强烈的感情和争吵,但即使如此,他们是真正的最好的朋友。他们喜欢一起玩。他们会热爱自然,美丽,射箭和绘图公主,闪闪发光的东西,并在泥土挖了手。

相信你内心的熊妈妈不毫不犹豫地吼反对任何威胁他们的童年。这意味着什么。而且,时间一到就开始放松缰绳一点。

您将学习如何拥抱变化。

There’s going to be an uprooting. I know you can’t even imagine this being possible, but you’ll leave this house 5 years from now and with it, the echoes of toddler feet running down the wooden floors of the hallway.

这将是你永远做最难的事情之一,你将不得不走进变化是前所未有的。但是你搬回到田纳西州的农场!

Yeah, you love buying food from local farms right now, but be a farmer yourself? Crazy, right? I’ll just tell you this—there will be blunders. There will be big mistakes and moments where you feel like you’re falling apart. You’ll miss sidewalks and having friends within walking distance. But you’ll find your strength in new ways. You’ll gain a sky above your house that’s an actual planetarium. A connection to the land that is palpable. Plenty of space for people to come and slow down and connect over farm-fresh meals or a campfire. That girl in your belly right now will one day help you plant wildflowers and ask you to lie on the earth among the corn rows with her at golden hour.

在你的院子里的城市只有两个树苗的树后,你现在就会有几千条。所有这些加息,并具有广泛的散步,好奇宝宝眼睛偷看过白鲸包装的顶部将通过您的持股5亩的女孩一路领先树林变成探索。

你会接受在家教育。在教学你克irls with everything you have, you’ll find that most of what they really need to know is not from textbooks or worksheets.

你纸板书将是深受喜爱和陈腐。您知道它之前,你会读The Chronicles of Narniato them at bedtime until your voice goes hoarse. You’ll find your oldest girl reading by flashlight and outside in the yard and inside under a blanket and basically anytime she can get in a few more words.

然后有一天晚上,在你的农舍的门口,一个孤独的你无法精确将上升到表面坐在自己。你会悼念一点点的年丹尼尔虎和好奇的乔治和双车和babywearing的。如果一切都太迟了,在42岁挤出一个小婴儿,因为你不想告别人生的那个阶段你也许会奇怪。

令人担忧的是不值得多了一个第二。

所有这些你已经在过去的10年里保持您在半夜担心的事情?William Hill体育他们中的99.9%,从未发生过。而那些没有?神是信实的。上帝与你的家人,只是如许。

在十年的时间,这里在2020年的另一边,你还在犯错,但向他们学习。您在管理变革和风险更好的是。你仍然爱着神和史蒂芬和你的孩子和你的社区。你是你曾经去过的你-EST。安息吧。别担心。事情真的会好起来的。

哦,还有一两件事 - 守博客,妹妹。Keep using those gifts and words, and somewhere in between the finger puppets, rubber duckies wearing bowties, and the California Baby shampoo, you’ll figure out how to still make time for yourself with a hot bath, your journal, and a glass of wine. Because 10 years later, you’ll be writing an实际的,真正的本书,你会很高兴你所做的选择,让您的创造性的一面活着。

爱,

You in 2020

阅读时间:

5分钟

5 Comments

  1. TSH Oxenreider

    Oh my goodness, this was lovely and SO well-written, Christine! I love this: “You’ll finally say ‘I NEED HELP NOW’ and realize that those were the actual bravest words you could say.” Yes, ma’am.

    回复
    • Christine Bailey

      Thanks friend!

      回复
  2. MICHELE HOFFMAN

    Love this so much – all of it, but especially the perspective on birth “plans” going out the window, as I’m weeks away from my second C section for a second breech babe… but realizing 10 years from now (really, 10 weeks from now!) the gift of the new little one is the same regardless of how he arrives! Thank you!

    回复
    • Christine Bailey

      米歇尔,我很高兴它跟你说话。是的,但是宝宝到来将是一个礼物。话说祈祷,现在一个可爱的诞生。

      回复
  3. Kelsey Gibson

    我非常喜欢这个。与四个孩子6岁及以下和我们最后的宝宝临近了有一年标记的妈妈,这是一个需要的提醒多么短暂,完全甜本赛季是如何生活变种和变化,但是,在所有重要方面,保持不变。感谢您分享这么光明正大。我不能等待你的书!

    回复

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